random

Today is not really my day.
couldn't describe 'em one by one.
not in a good condition,
but at least I know who's there & who's not.
because most of the people who have ever told me that they care about me & love me,
are actually the people who're missing.
That's why I never believe in words, words are just bullshit.
words are just words, I never know which is real &; which is not, except they're proved.
I'm a human, I'm not perfect either.
I got plenty of bad attitudes & temper too, & maybe I'm just selfish.
I just want them to be there no matter what.
I know I'm childish, but who doesn't ? it's a part of human.
at least I'm not doing anything stupid, I'm just immature, not 'stupidly childish'. know the difference ?
I'm tired of being tired,
I'm tired of trying to be a good person,
& I'm tired of trying to be a bad person.

so not in the mood.
I'm just.. sad.
I really really wanna go to singapore to accompany my mom next 2weeks.
she's going to have a big operation & my dad is not able to accompany her,
so my grandma & aunt will go there & accompany her.
I'm just scared.
I was trying so hard to hold my tears when she texted me & told me so many things.
suddenly I felt so alone, empty, just lonely.
It's not a homesick, but.. just don't know how to describe it.

I got nothing more to say.
If you ask me what's in my mind right now,
I'd definitely answer I don't know.
cause' I don't know. all blank.

-random minds of mine-