it's like from 100 to 0 , I'm in the minus (-).
lower than hell.
okay, I'm over-reacting, but whatever, this is my blog, so it's still my world.
anyway, let's talk about something else.
I was tucked by something ordinary. it's like remind me & let me see it again.
of course, not a good thing.
First,
when you don't want to show that you're sad or badmood or down,
you will show the world the reverse reaction , right?
you smile to hide you're sad, you laugh to avoid people asking why.
& then one day they gapped you doing this thing,
& they called you a 'pretender', cause you pretend to look alright when you're not.
sometimes it's not because of you don't wanna tell them,
you're just lazy or you realized they won't understand or they aren't the right person to talk to or they're annoying or you know they don't really care cause it's not their business.
most of them will say they will listen to you, deal with your worse condition, comfort you, they care about you, they will understand, and so on & so on.
but we know, they won't.
in this case, they might do the same, but they can't accept you doing this.
conclusion : BULLSHIT. hypocrite. selfish. childish. annoying.
this thing makes you even worse.
when you're down & still down, you're unstable.
psychologically understandable if you will hate the whole world in the moment they happen to do that.
you will automatically and completely normal that you will make a gap & think you won't ever talk about anything with them, cause they're jerks.
Second,
when you show you're not in a good condition or in a bad mood,
showing that sometimes you're tired to always understand everyone,
hoping that one or two people will understand & accept the jerk you that day.
but of course,
they just couldn't accept you & won't understand.
in the end, they will avoid you a lil' bit and they start to dislike you.
they think you're annoying. they would just do anything just not to deal with you.
remember, that's in your bad condition not even worse, think of how bullshit they were.
& then you'll get very very.. upset.
psychologically understandable if you will once again hate the whole world & be extremely mad.
but there'll be 2 reactions, be uncontrollable mad like an insane person.
or calm down cause you hold on everything your burden & new burden alone quietly and be very very mad.
the results ? you'll lost your way, you can't think, you can't do right things, you will hate everyone.
you'll lock yourself in your room and burst out in tears like crazy with no-one to help you.
very understandable you can't trust anyone. you will feel extreme sad & hurt, & you'll start questioning things.
why & why & just why.
perhaps the common thing, you'll think :
'why they can't understand you, like you always understand them? why they aren't here like you always there anytime they need you? why aren't they care about you like you care so much about them? or why they can't deal in your bad condition while you have dealt with their worse? why they can't let you breath, just a second. you're still a human afterall, even you look so strong in their eyes.'
and the saddest thing is 'why do they leave you, when you need them the most?'
so it's the world.
it's life.
it's just an ugly truth of life.
it's people, it's the world, & it's always like this.
so don't expect too much.
have you heard ' the one who hurt you is the one who's closest to you?'
so beware. take care of yourself. learn how to console yourself. learn how to face this thing over & over again.
trust no one, just yourself.
don't depend on others too much.
i know, there're times we're so fragile & needy.
1. LUCKY you who have people around you that can complete you when you're needy.
2. GRATEFUL you who have people around you that can understand this thing.
3. HAPPY you who have people around you that would never leave you or avoid you and stay with you in every condition & stage of your life.
conclusion : PERFECT you who have all the threes.
