Unstoppable Elsie

Collaborations with Darius Manihuruk

2011-07-01T02:19:00.001+07:00

I don't really know what to share, so I'll just share some of my work as a stylist,

collaborate with a photographer.

haven't receive all photos but these are some of them :

sorry for the quality some has been compressed.

Photographer : DARIUS MANIHURUK

Stylist : ELSIE CHRYSILA

pissed.

2011-07-01T02:12:00.000+07:00

I'm pissed of unknown people who drop by my chatbox & sell items there or keep promoting non-stop.
hey strangers get a life!
I don't wanna be rude, I appreciate some of them to give me comments & critics tho.
but I HATE the rest that drop by & keep promoting non-stop. PISSED OFF.
I don't need people to read my blog if they only want to promote things.
I blog for my own pleasure, I appreciate those who appreciate mine as well.
so please, help one another okay.
Thanks.

.T R A S H I O N.

2011-06-04T23:39:00.000+07:00

well hello again my abandoned poor blog.
I don't know what to say I got nothing to explain.
well..
I wanna say..
I'm.. pregnant.
..
..
kidding.
I just don't know what to write.
I guess I'll just share my Trashion Project from 2months before? yes It's taken on April 2011.
Enjoy!

Photographer : PANJI INDRA PERMANA
Model : DARYA SAVISHKINA @PoshManagement
MUA : SEKAR LARASATI & ELSIE CHRYSILA
Wardrobe & Stylist : ELSIE CHRYSILA
DI Artist & Retouch : M.DESFIAN PUTRA
Thanks to all crew !

The story was I did this in 3 days + the moodboard & concept.
no pattern, no size, no sewing at all.
The fact is I didn't know what I was doing back then till' it's done.
tiring, but it's fun tho.
All made 100% from plastic, no other element.

This is the first version, will be shown in another version,
maybe colour version (said the DI Artist).
we'll see.
okay, I'm tired. adios !

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

DUWA

2011-04-27T00:48:00.000+07:00

.welcome to the world of ours.

whatever you want to say,

I don't care.

Less-Freedom

2011-04-26T00:24:00.002+07:00

.my different point of view.

drama drama drama & drama.

2011-04-24T20:17:00.000+07:00

Not in the mood.
I start to feel lazy to pick up phone calls or reply texts from my family.
Not because I hate them, well I love my family a lot.
Not to be a no manner girl,
but sometimes I'm feeling like wanna yell at them till' they shut their fucking mouth up.
oh please, drama drama drama & drama. so many drama, so sick and childish.

When a drama is over, there comes another issues.
I can pretend to be blind. I can pretend to be deaf. I can pretend to be dumb.
cause I don't wanna care, whatever they all say, do or talk about me, I don't care.
they make me laugh, cause I feel I have a childish character, & I realize they're more childish than me.
I realize they're just pathetic people who can't enjoy their own life, they never know what freedom are,
or to express themselves for what they are feels or not to mind other's business & make it their own burden looks like.
so why should I care?
but I'm still a human, I got my limitation, I have my bad-temper and selfishness.
I'm way too far than perfect or a nice one.
when I start to care and mind about these drama they make, I will just blow things up in my way.
& in the end I will be the bad-ass. well, whatever.

I do what I want, I walk in the path I choose, I dream what I like, I stay in society that I feel secure in.
I don't mind if I'm being the different one,
or maybe the only right brain while others are using their left brain,
or being a rebel or whatever.
I don't care if I have to walk alone in the path I choose,
I don't care if I have to keep receiving the teasing, meeting the dramas, deal with the complains & the take down and deal with not logical advices.
I'll stand up still, I maybe fall but I can still get up,
cause I got some people that I know I can hold on to when I'm fall.
I know where I can trust to run to and will never intend to ruin me.
I'll never give my world up AGAIN, even if the whole family forced me to.
they can talk about me whatever they want,
but I can lose my temper if they talk about my best-people and the people I respect.

wellwell, enough, I'm cooling down.
again & again, I start to talk random & useless things.
at least I pour out my emotion before it blows up.
besides this is my blog, my blog my rules.
who cares.
adios!

My Little Mistress

2011-04-16T01:17:00.002+07:00

I did this project from my job training.
So I have to do concept , mood board and everything until finding the photographer, model, make-up, hair-do, etc.
I realized there's a different thing between designer and stylist, when I'm making the moodboard.
At first I thought it'll be almost the same,
but it is different.
I don't know how to tell, but I just know the technique, the feeling, and the way to see and solve things are different.
I'm glad that I could learn many things from my boss & her boyfriend =)

I remembered there's budget for property and setting and couldn't find any place,
so we just make the shoot at office :p
& well, some wardrobes are too tight :( my bad.
Enjoy!

Photographer & Pose Director : EJJA PAHLEVI
Assistant Photographer : M. DESFIAN PUTRA
MUA : SEKAR LARASATI & RIO ADRIANTO
Model : YANA KUTOVAYA @PoshManagement, ALLA KUST @RoarManagement
Wardrobes : YELLY LUMENTU, ZICO HALIM, DANJYO HIYOJI, Stylist's.
Accessories : ZiCO HALIM
Stylist : ELSIE CHRYSILA

wait for the next one, about Trashion !

First Shot. I'M NOT A PHOTOGRAPHER.

2011-04-16T00:59:00.000+07:00

I was holding this camera and watching this androgyny having his photo-session.
suddenly this curiosity crossed my mind, what did those photographer see through the camera?
well, how did they actually see things?
different artist, different eyes, different imagination, different styles, different creativity, I believe that real photographers see things that others can't see.
so I decided to play around, take some frames all in black & white,
& try to edit 3 photos with my "only know how to crop and play with brightness and contrast" skill.

I know I'm not good at all.
I don't even want to be one.
Trying for fun is not a sin, right?
=)

Everybody's changing & No one stays the same.

2011-04-16T00:45:00.000+07:00

hey bloggers, well yeah I've abandoned my blog for so long.

so here I am now writing this post.

well, I've just done my 3weeks Job Training with a fashion stylist, as I told you last time that I'm into learning how to be a good stylist. I actually want to learn so many things.

I'm so grateful to work there, all the people are like my family now =)

Doesn't matter how long I've known them, what matters is how I could feel secure & how I think I could share my burden since I'm a private person.

I don't really know what to write, many things had happened in such a short time. so just get over it.

I'm a free lady, well learning to be independent since I know I'm a spoiled one.

I don't want to be tied up in any contract, any relationship, or whatsoever.

I want to explore & learn many things which I found those things are rocks for my way, at least for now.

Besides, I want to do everything I want to do, without boundaries, without obligation to think about others while I'm focusing on my things. you know what I mean?

I've been thinking so many things, I want to be a better person, I realized I should change some behaviors, actions, & things. we'll see if I can work it all out.

I don't want to lick my own spit, I'm just trying not to be tied up with anyone I doubt.

so far there's none that make me even want to try, but who knows?

since no one knows what will happen in the next second.

Let by gone be by gone, human make mistakes.

life without troubles, mistakes, and regrets are nonsense.

what we've done or we've been through is actually chances, yes,

we got so many chances to be strong,

to know what is pain & learn to appreciate happiness.

realize the mistakes and be mature, left the foolishness and welcome the new us.

In the fact, everyone changes.

Never asked anyone to stay the same, cause as time goes by,

People change, everybody's changing & no one really stays the same.

including me, I'm constantly changing.

I received this quotes from a friend when I was frustrated.

which turned out to be my favourite quotes !

I hope this simple quote can give you a lil' bit strength when you're down, like it gave me =)

"When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

the UGLY TRUTH about life.

2011-03-07T23:13:00.000+07:00

I'm having my identity, mental, & self-confidence crisis.
it's like from 100 to 0 , I'm in the minus (-).
lower than hell.
okay, I'm over-reacting, but whatever, this is my blog, so it's still my world.

anyway, let's talk about something else.
I was tucked by something ordinary. it's like remind me & let me see it again.
of course, not a good thing.

First,
when you don't want to show that you're sad or badmood or down,
you will show the world the reverse reaction , right?
you smile to hide you're sad, you laugh to avoid people asking why.
& then one day they gapped you doing this thing,
& they called you a 'pretender', cause you pretend to look alright when you're not.
sometimes it's not because of you don't wanna tell them,
you're just lazy or you realized they won't understand or they aren't the right person to talk to or they're annoying or you know they don't really care cause it's not their business.
most of them will say they will listen to you, deal with your worse condition, comfort you, they care about you, they will understand, and so on & so on.
but we know, they won't.
in this case, they might do the same, but they can't accept you doing this.
conclusion : BULLSHIT. hypocrite. selfish. childish. annoying.
this thing makes you even worse.
when you're down & still down, you're unstable.
psychologically understandable if you will hate the whole world in the moment they happen to do that.
you will automatically and completely normal that you will make a gap & think you won't ever talk about anything with them, cause they're jerks.

Second,
when you show you're not in a good condition or in a bad mood,
showing that sometimes you're tired to always understand everyone,
hoping that one or two people will understand & accept the jerk you that day.
but of course,
they just couldn't accept you & won't understand.
in the end, they will avoid you a lil' bit and they start to dislike you.
they think you're annoying. they would just do anything just not to deal with you.
remember, that's in your bad condition not even worse, think of how bullshit they were.
& then you'll get very very.. upset.
psychologically understandable if you will once again hate the whole world & be extremely mad.
but there'll be 2 reactions, be uncontrollable mad like an insane person.
or calm down cause you hold on everything your burden & new burden alone quietly and be very very mad.
the results ? you'll lost your way, you can't think, you can't do right things, you will hate everyone.
you'll lock yourself in your room and burst out in tears like crazy with no-one to help you.
very understandable you can't trust anyone. you will feel extreme sad & hurt, & you'll start questioning things.
why & why & just why.
perhaps the common thing, you'll think :
'why they can't understand you, like you always understand them? why they aren't here like you always there anytime they need you? why aren't they care about you like you care so much about them? or why they can't deal in your bad condition while you have dealt with their worse? why they can't let you breath, just a second. you're still a human afterall, even you look so strong in their eyes.'
and the saddest thing is 'why do they leave you, when you need them the most?'
so it's the world.
it's life.
it's just an ugly truth of life.
it's people, it's the world, & it's always like this.
so don't expect too much.
have you heard ' the one who hurt you is the one who's closest to you?'
so beware. take care of yourself. learn how to console yourself. learn how to face this thing over & over again.
trust no one, just yourself.
don't depend on others too much.

i know, there're times we're so fragile & needy.
1. LUCKY you who have people around you that can complete you when you're needy.
2. GRATEFUL you who have people around you that can understand this thing.
3. HAPPY you who have people around you that would never leave you or avoid you and stay with you in every condition & stage of your life.

conclusion : PERFECT you who have all the threes.

back-bones

2011-03-03T23:53:00.001+07:00

I love to watch the bones.

I love back bones.

so what.

I would love to have my photographs taken like that someday.

can you feel what I feel ?

my mind-issues, again. skip it anytime you want.

2011-03-03T23:34:00.000+07:00

I almost forgot I have a blog.
I'm feeling just so.. lost & frustrated now.
I don't know what I've to do & what I've to say.
I don't even know who to share with cause' I don't really know the right person to run to.
I'm afraid & without me notice I draw a line between me & other people.
I laugh, I hang out, I play, I have fun, I enjoy, I listen, I share, I'm happy.
but I don't share privacy or any emotional problems or mental disorder stuffs.
well I'm 'healthy' not really a mental disorder patient, but I'm a 'mind disorder' person.

I don't know what is it that I don't know what I'm thinking that affect my mood that drop me to the lowest ground of happiness that make me so lost & confused that make me feel afraid & so insecure that make me lose my mind that make me keep everything for myself that make me want to be nowhere but alone that make me do shits that will make me push people away.

I'm in a not-comfortable-mood to be surrounded by people, I'm not a lonely loner, but I'm in my alone-mood.
sometimes I wanna share things,
but I don't see people that will truly care about my problem, since it's my business not theirs.
& I don't find any people whose mind is mature & calm enough to listen, understand & digest of what I'm going to say.
& I don't see any competent people's reaction that will not make me feel offensive when I'm story-telling.
& I don't know stranger who's trust-worthy enough to listen, comfort, advice, forget, & keep it to him/herself, cause as I know, world is so small, everyone could be related & hard to trust stranger in my world.
& I don't have any shelter to rely-on in every moments in my life.
& I don't think I might be able to share cause I know I don't know how to talk or share about my weirdness of translating what I'm thinking & my emotion in words.
& I haven't found person who can think like what I'm thinking, see as I see the world, understand without me translate & notice without me saying. & I know that person doesn't exist in any dimension of life circles or planets.
see my problem, my problem is understandable , simple but complex, definable but never out from my mouth.

I can see the problem is in me,
& the main problem is me.
I can help & I need a help but I don't want any help.
It's me, It's just the way I am.
I'm confusing, yes.

I do believe of fate but I don't believe in arranged fate.
I think we won't have what we have if what we can do is just to look at it.
we see or meet what we have is fate, but to have it is depends on us.
what's your effort, why you don't give up, who's worth it, when is the right time, & how you act right.
something from above is wrong when you don't get the things or the person you want. you just don't notice it. so I remind you, whoever read this, so you might understand when you don't understand why.
okay, once again I'm changing the topic without me notice.
there's nothing about me that has to do with those fate stuffs.
all I do is type.
& type.
& type.
type.

when my mind is empty.
I don't know what to write.
so chao, adios !

The Hair & The Freeze

2011-02-16T19:11:00.000+07:00

My forever love goes to The Hair & The Freeze.
Somehow it affects me, even it's nothing.
mind-playing. it shows something I couldn't express.
No one can read my mind.

do I look okay ?

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

14Feb isn't Valentine nor Fucklentine for me.

2011-02-16T01:44:00.001+07:00

Last 14th February 2011,
I found bunch of posts on facebook, twitter, & everywhere about love bubbles for their Valentine's Day,
or curses from single people who called it as Fucklentine Day.
well, I was in between I guess.
I didn't care so much about this day, it's just monday dudes.
I'm single & so what, doesn't bother me.
It's not valentine or fucklentine for me, I only care about my day.
It's another day for me to have fun !

I went for dinner with my two single bff & other friends I just knew not so long ago =)
The weather was somehow being an asshole, raining so heavily with lightning & mad wind.
The weather must be one of those mad single people who's jealous with those cupids. --"
The rain made me wet.

so how's yours?
a valentine, fucklentine, or in between ?

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

New Addiction !

2011-02-16T01:00:00.013+07:00

hello bloggers.

as usual, i never on time fulfilling my promises to update this.

many things to do.

still working on my endless projects. oh fuck.

I'm being assistant stylist / stylist recently =)

I want more & more experiences ! I'm addicted to it.

Here are few photos, urban photographs.

Photographer : Tito

Model : Juanita & Moudy (JIM agency models)

Stylist : Elsie Chrysila (me)

& Here's a preview.

Photographer : Arseto Adiputra (Indonesia Professional/Fashion Photographer)

Model : Mateusz Rogenbuk (from Poland)

Make Up Artist & Hair do : Dedy

Stylist : Zico Halim

Assistant Stylist : Elsie Chrysila (me)

sorry for the low quality since I don't have the original photos.
so, it's auto compressed from the photographer's blog.
can't wait for the photos !

I'm addicted to it !

I wanna learn how to be a good stylist.

I'm still an amateur, still a lil' green grass :( I should do this often.

okay just enough for today, i'm in terrible headache.

adios chicks ! xx

another day, another speech.

2011-02-07T01:38:00.000+07:00

Happy Chinese New Year chicks ! :)

sorry I've been busy lately.
The winner of Esmod Ambassador is Rae Citra & she's worth all the fight !
she's so worth it I swear =)

I've been home for 2days then back again & have a fashion show at Jakarta Conventional Centre,
in Education Expo 2011.
sorry photos are in facebook.
I'm tired & lazy to upload :(
I'm not really in the mood. well, you guys might think I always in a bad mood.
but I always blog when I'm in a bad mood idk why :(

Time flies, people change, life goes on.
Nothing is perfect. Nothing Lasts forever.
Forever is bullshit.
all we can do is just treasure every moment before it's gone.
Lips tell lies - actions are prove - eyes speak the truth.
Shit happens, things go wrong, trap in mess.

whatever hurt you the most, will still feel hurts even it has passed in time.
some people say "The one you love the most is the one that will hurt you the most"
some people ask "what if every person I love always hurts me?"
I say "The one you love the most still the one that can always heal your pain & make your tears worth it with their presence no matter how much they hurt you"
I answer "nobody can guarantee not to hurt you or never will, in fact, everyone is a sinner, no one has never not hurting anyone, including you. so why think about the hurt, not the worth ?"

but I never ask you to keep holding on to the things that keep hurting you most.
I never ask you to leave the things that hurt you the most too.
we're all immature but we're also mature enough to think,
what's our treasure, does it worth it, can you live with/without it, or are you ready to sacrifice whatever things just to leave it/hold on ?
some things hurt permanently, yes, they brain-washed you, yes, they bound you,yes. hard to handle, yes.
traumatic things are the worst, it effects to your seconds to future.
sometimes we need to be brave than to be afraid,
but sometimes we need to be smart than to rewind the same stupid traumatic story in different version.

Find a person who love you, will take care of you & make you happy, instead of the person you love.
cause they will fight for you till' the end, they hear 'no' as a 'try again', they read 'sorry' as 'will be better', they see 'you' as 'the one'.
when you find one, you'll know they're worth it to be your 'right one'.
but you'll be most happy with the one you love eventhough they're not yours or even don't notice you at all. you will do anything just for this one. but will they do the same thing ?
yes, there're lots of such cases.
Everything is a choice to make.
you press the wrong button you will lost everything,
you step to the right side you're safe & secure.
Life is unfair & will never fair.
deal with it.

Take a risk or walk in green zone.
dare yourself or play safe.
what's your choice ?

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

when I still got time, I don't want to regret.

2011-01-30T00:08:00.001+07:00

bonjour chicks !
finally done with my projects & have a lazy weekend =)
just skip my activities before this okay, i didn't even remember, a month felt like a year.
hectic month, but I just love this month <3
hoping february will be much much better than january !

so, current activity is I'm joining Esmod Ambassador,
I'm now one of the candidate from 6 candidates to be Esmod Ambassador 2011,
the campaign is on & the voting will be on 1st February 2011,
unfortunately it's not public voting, only for the fashion students.
just wish me luck okay !
well, whatever the result is I know It's the best =)
I don't really care about losing or winning, take it easy & enjoy everything ! it's fun :)

this is for my online campaign for tagging some of my uni people in facebook,
some other candidate put the poster one & some do messages everyone, some broadcasting from blackberry, each person got her own way =D
at first I thought I don't wanna do any campaign but well, it's fun to be competitive :D

but my problem is,
whoever chosen to be Esmod Ambassador 2011 should have her photo session on 2nd February'11,
& I have my flight ticket to go back to hometown only for 2 days for cny.
& I won't cancel it cause I've changed from 5days to 2days already because of a fashion show thing at 5th February.
all families are gathering & there's my aunt's new house party, she has treated me like her daughter since she doesn't have one.
I seldom go back home & gather with my family,
& I don't wanna miss this one just for a profile photo session.
I'm going to be a woman soon, not a little girl, I want to do the best & good deed for my loved ones.
I just don't want to regret in the future.
so IF I were chosen & the photo session can't be delayed, I will withdraw & back off instantly :)

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

stopped by the track

2011-01-22T17:36:00.001+07:00

hello bombshells !
I'm super busy lately, no time to blog, don't even know what to write, & don't even remember that I have a blog.

well, it's been so long since my last post.
plenty to say but just couldn't type 'em here.
so, I'm doing some photoshoots & working on my coat projects.
I really can't wait to get out from my dizzy hectic days.
& I have a job training on march, still confused where should I apply.
I got two options inside this little head, should I apply to a fashion designer or television company for wadrobe ? well, kindda the same.
so many things to do, so little time I have.
I really wanna do a lot of things but I just don't get the chance & time yet.
but I don't really want to think a lot, I just want to do everything that I can do now,
doesn't really matters if it's tiring or fun things.
I'm young, I need experiences, I wanna try everything, I wanna feel carefree, I just wanna dare myself. That's why I shouldn't have complained too much --"
always remind myself, there're uncountable people who will do anything to be in my position.
I have place to stay, I have nice food to eat, I'm capable to do many things, unlike those uncountable people who live in desperation, handicapped & poverty.

Basically people have two sides.
Everything that happens to our lives, whether it's bad or good,
is just the price we gotta pay or is just raindrops to see the rainbow.
whatever you do out there, whatever you are up to, & whatever things happened to you all,
I wish you well & strong =)
note it down, "suffer for you is actually a blessing for others"
always be grateful, strong & stay humble !
cause we won't know what will happen in the next second =)

enough for today, gotta go now !
chaoo chicks!

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

2011-01-22T17:12:00.001+07:00

will be away for a while.

2011-01-06T01:05:00.001+07:00

hey chicks.
yeah I'm sorry, I'm not really into blogging these days.
i don't know why.
plus I'm just lazy to upload random photos.
I'm going back on track next week or next two weeks okay. sorry chicks !

like the other days

2010-12-22T23:46:00.000+07:00

hey!

I'm not hunting anything today,

am gg out for a movie & have dinner at marche with my friend.

don't really have much to share, I never remember to take photos.

but I'm so into booth-whoring lately, wonder why. --"

so, another crazy booth-whoring, another image.

anw, I saw a santa claus mini dress, I'm thinking to buy it for fun.

but.. we'll see. gonna rethink, cause it'll be a waste.

chaoo for now !

can't wait for christmas & new year ! but I don't want this holiday to end !

Imma' holiday freaks !

can't wait for next year, going to macau & USA !

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

2010-12-21T22:36:00.001+07:00

Hello bloggers !

here I am in a boredom.

not feeling very well, tired of today's hunting day.

kindda' dissapointed with the stuffs, hard to find good stuffs.

everything is just b o r i n g.

such a waste of time, feels like everything brand & unbranded items are no different.

they're all the same here plus i could find them easily in my own country. so it's dissapointing.

so I've lost my intention to shop & still waiting for fun days to happen !

so, at last I'm wearing only tees, shortpant & slippers.

I'm being such a nice girl today. 100% effortless.

This is one thing I like being outside my country, no one cares or talks about you.

besides, I'm constantly changing. I got no image. I only have my own character.

I don't feel like a 19th chick, looks like high school student, yeah? =p

(please say yes x.x )

I'm so grateful for everything in my life.

I may sometimes up & down, my world may be upside down & almost fall apart,

may in my worst condition & mental drop to the lowest ground.

but there's always way for me to find,friends to count on,accidental good things happen,

or things eventually wake me up & make me stronger.

hey problems, I'm growing stronger. thanks to you !

you make my eyes wide open about some people that I think I know them so well,

but actually I don't know them at all.

you make me think who's worth it & who's not.

you remind me of the perfect world I actually have.

you remind me not to lose myself & not chasing the perfection.

you tell me to take care my valuable people & notice that they're my treasure.

you wake me up from fakeness & mortal dreams.

you keep me on track. you show me the truth. you release all the pain.

you make me see the real side of some people I would never believe to see before you.

you make my mental, mind, & me grow. you just make me ready to face another harder you!

you cheer me up & make me never give up, of waiting something that is not temporary, but forever.

problems, I owe you much ! without you, I may not be what I am today.

I'm such a melancholic person today.

I can be anything for everyone,

but I just want to be something, better than that, everything to a person.

I'm waiting for that person to come, in the future, who will always stay & never leave,
that will fight for me till' the end.

& when I found & fall for that person,

I will not tell, but just keep it in my heart & mind,

that I will really spend the rest of my life with that person, in grief & happiness,

in hard & easy times, in good & bad, in chaos & peace, in worst & best conditions, in that time till forever,

I will never give up for that person no matter what, make that person be the one & the only,

& I will just fall for that person, over & over again, till the end of time.

If I promise a thing, I will never break it.

I will never tell, if I tell, then I haven't found the person I meant to be with.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

holiday freaks !

2010-12-20T20:35:00.000+07:00

Bonjour blogeeks!
I think I kept apologized for abandoning my blog --"
but well, what can I say..
So, I'm currently in singapore !
yeah, just arrived this morning & I'm hell tired. I'm not in a very fit condition, lack of sleep & some health issues make my day not perfect. plus got some mental issues, I guess.
but whatever, I don't want negative things to distract me or ruin my day, better have fun !
Luckily I got my best friend ! yeah, remember Daniel? my best dude. he sent me home just nw, otherwise I may have fainted on the road. lol
feeling like no more energy left.
So, I don't really have much to share, I forgot or I'm lazy or I don't really take pictures these days.

well, random crazy booth-whoring of mine from days ago !

HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYONE !

wish you all have the great holiday ever ! enjoy ! xxx

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Booty Bounce - Dev

2010-12-15T12:03:00.000+07:00

Ever heard the song called ' Like a G6 ? '
yeahh, it's booming.
but ever think who's the original singer or how's the original song ?
well of course Far East Movement isn't the original one. but Dev.

I completely love the video ! uber cool !
so many outfits turn me on :9

Hectic

2010-12-15T11:59:00.002+07:00

Sorry for abandoning you for so long.
But as I said before, I had a very hectic week ! & still, this week will be another hectic week!
Submittion is tomorrow but I still got TONS of projects to do.
I'm going insane.

So skip about my last week hectic busy week.
am just gonna upload some of my fav japanese contemporer shoot with my senior Jesse & my friend Tito.

okayy I'm brainless now, I couldn't think.
sorry I couldn't share much =(
I just got a lot of things to do & some matters stuck in my mind.
I don't even know how & where to write, I just in the need of supports & comfort.
I hate few things now.
see you soon ! adios.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Busy Bee Week

2010-12-09T01:10:00.000+07:00

and again I'm sorry to let my blog behind.
as I said this week is a busy week.
escape last weekend, yesterday I help my teacher to make her brand's portofolio whole day.
well, she's a new nice teacher & I like her a lot, she's starting to make portofolio for us,
portofolio for designers, make up artists, photographers, stylists & models.
yesterday was just her first trial using her wadrobes & we got like 10 models, 3 photographers, some crews & 4-5 make up artists.
all models, crews & make up artists are all us, the fashion students.
She's going to make it again next month after holiday I guess, we student can participate our creations.
no photos yet.

& last monday was my seniors little black dress jury day, as their model should join the presentation.
I was come early for doing my group fashion merchandising project, which is making one of the window display.
well as usual, complete photos are on my facebook.

& after that I stayed at uni till 7pm helping my group.
I couldn't even comment of my window display. -_____-

okay that's enough I'm hell tired & sleepy already.
gotta wake up early for fitting & catwalk blocking tomorrow cause friday will be the fashion show.
& got a photoshoot again on saturday & got a formal party on sunday & gonna have supper with seniors on monday.
& I still got TONS of projects abandoned & I don't even think I can finish 'em, due date is on next Thursday, & a must project competition competing all esmod around the world which the due date is monday.
I'm so going to faint after next week.
okay, It's 1.20am I'd better off to bed!
see you bloggers ! adios chicks.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

All About Victoria Secret

2010-11-30T23:20:00.000+07:00

As always, victoria secret is always awesome.

Here's Victoria Secret 2010 Commercial :

& 2010 fashion shows:

outfits for Victoria Secret 2010 :

Victoria Secret models lipsync Katy Perry's (Firework) :

Sneak Peak of Katy Perry Performance & VS 2010 fashion show in New York:

I really wanna share The Finale of Victoria Secret Fashion Show 2010 with Katy Perry but I couldn't find it.
Surely a bombshell show !

Personal life

2010-11-30T00:49:00.000+07:00

Hey bloggers !

yeahh I know I've abandoned my blog for a week.

I'm kindda busy & when I'm not as usual, I'm hell tired & lazy to blog.

So, I got rehearsal for my uni's party & fittings for fashion show.

Lemme share random photos okay,

There's a day called St.Chaterine's Day & my uni is celebrating it every year.

So here's this year St.Chaterine's Day party with theme military portobello which lots of us disobeyed the theme. lol

so here's random photos.

Sorry for the format, lazy to move them all to left.

automatically centered --"

still got so many photos, the rest are in my facebook or at my friend's album.

so here's my catwalk job, fashion show at emporium, well, such a cutie.

I looked like nacha yeah?

I know don't comment, don't laugh at me, this is a job okay I was paid for it.

but I'm so grateful my designer's is soooo nicceeeeee.

SUPER KIND !

I didn't know if I was a barbie or a kungfu girl. hihi

but it's fun !

I'm thinking to enter an agency so I can often be a freelance standard model, well,

gonna find some money for being a freelance designer right? =p

okay hell tired, out from here.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

heaven & earth.

2010-11-23T23:55:00.000+07:00

Have you ever feel like you're in between ?

You don't know what you're stepping on & where you're going.

Not lost, Not frozen, Not even alone.

completely out of idea.

you just walk & walk & keep walking..

without knowing much, all you know is just moving forward.

You don't even know what you really want, all you know is just face everything.

maybe I'm in between.

People said we've to forget the past,

I then realized it's a fool thing to do.

You don't have to completely forget, cause it's just wasting your time.

why?

Because you've walked through 'em & you know they're real,

how can you forget the reality ?

Better to accept reality & move on, not by forgetting everything cause I know it's impossible,

but putting them aside.

sometimes I laugh when a couple just broke up & only in few days,one of them would say 'I couldn't forget her/him, I've tried, but just couldn't "

of course you couldn't! just move on & put them aside, who told you to forget it,
why don't you just keep it in mind, memories are real, they are experiences, & they help you grow up & get stronger.
all you need is just time & change the way of thinking, not acting so childish by leaving everything like you've never get through it just to forget it. it's stupid & useless thing to do, grow up.
well, I don't write this for anyone, just in general.

Imagination is a state of mind,
so does reality.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

I'm not up to date, I'm a newbie in tumblr

2010-11-21T23:59:00.001+07:00

anw, I've just made a tumblr.
but I haven't even touch the layouts,
so don't mind the designs okay, I'm so lazy to arrange it.
Just gonna touch 'em when I got time, or ask my friend to make the layouts for me.
Still a mess.

my tumblr :
http://rawfleshtipsy.tumblr.com/

I write my diary in my blog, not in my book.

2010-11-21T23:54:00.000+07:00

Sleeping over for 2days at chai's,
yeahh, in more than a week I just slept in my own house for a day.
So exhausted today,
whole day doing hunting at some places I don't even know how to describe.
I felt so sticky, oily, sweaty, yucky after that.
but out of all, it's a fun activity !
Idk, just found it adventurous for me.
Honestly, I'm so not used to the surroundings, areas, situations, & even the air,
cause' I grew up & brought up in a very reverse conditions, situations, environments & surroundings,
it's just the way I've lived & maybe those are the other parts of the world that I nearly never touch before.
It's still something new for me & I found it interesting & adventurous eventhough I can hardly breathe & felt a lil' bit intimidated in there ! It's fun :D I would like to hunt to places like that again =)
I don't want to be so called a 'princess' in my current environment.
It's somehow, made me sad.
I'd rather be like a bitch than be a princess, I found it insulting,
it's like I can't do anything, I don't know how to deal with everything, I can only be served & I'll never survive outside my palace.
Geez, it's insulting.
Life of a princess is so predictable, boring, managed, so behaved, ruled, & not adventurous at all.
I hate it.

Escape from that,

Md has gone back to hometown, just so sad since she's gg to Los Angeles next month,
maybe we'll meet again in a year or more.
She's one of my best girl & I love her very much.

Spent such a wondeful saturday night with my besties ♥♥♥
Without them, I won't be the person I am today.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

just another boring daily post, again.

2010-11-20T01:04:00.000+07:00

I'm physically & mentally exhausted !

I am perfectly unstable these days.

I only know how to cry for certain things, laugh without reasons, & do things that I need to do.

Have just got home, after sleeping over at my friend's for 3days.

So tired, lack of sleep these days, plus just got my pms,

I hate pms ! totally junks.

I'm still worried about mom.

she was having her operation on 18th Nov'10 in singapore, I'm so scared,

Thank God her operation was succeeded, but dad said she's still in a very weak condition,

she couldn't sleep & just screaming & crying on night long in pain.

can't help my tears to fall whenever dad replied my texts ;'(

be tough mom ! don't worry you'll be fine, cause' you're the toughest mom in the world =)

get well soon mom :*

Escape from that,

I don't really know what to share since I'm a busy bee these days.

Catching deadlines, Fittings for my senior's little black dress & another one for an opening store fashion show, simple & short dancing rehearsal for Esmod St.Chaterine's Day Party, make up some plans, etc.

They're actually fun, but things aren't go very well these days, just so damn lazy to share 'em.

Enough for today, so tired !

anw, I have watched Harry Potter, well, for people like me,

the movie is somehow.. scary & creepy. --"

chaoo chicks !

*smooches*

xxxo

Strip is a talent

2010-11-16T00:41:00.000+07:00

So, this is one of my favourite from a movie 'Nine'.
Penelope Cruz was strip dance.
I'm so amazed how she could do that,
I don't think it's cheap, i think it's sexy, slutty, yet classy.
& if some people wanna say it's easy to strip or dance like that, then show me.
It's easy to talk, but it needs a talent to dance like that.
For me it's a real dance not some cheap dance.
& my G ! Penelope Cruz was stunning & such a perfect woman.
pretty face, lovely eyes, sexy lips, great bones, curvy awesome body, sexy voice, bouncy hair, etc etc.
let girls be jealous. --"
watchout boys, better not watch it with your girls. lol
Enjoy !

Behind The Scene of photoshoot campaign

2010-11-15T21:53:00.001+07:00

Interesting, I just love 'em !

welcome to the world behind Ellen Von Unwerth eyes !
I love her works a lot.
just love her !
just gonna upload from 2010's.

Enjoy the world of fashion !

Absolute Vodka

Guess Fall 2010

Fyi, this is not porn, this is art.

for some people who love to waste their time to talk shits & spreads rumors, just leave, cause I don't care.

I never ask you to read my blog. you just prove yourself that you have an ancient mind, maybe somebody should put you in the museum.

For my readers, Enjoy ! =)

A naughty Fairytale (one of my fave)

Okay, let's move to other campaign.

Topshop Spring/Summer 2010

Yves Saint Laurent Fall/Winter 2010/2011 (almost hold my breathe)

Louis Vuitton Fall/Winter 2010 video making

Prada Fall/Winter 2010

Miu Miu Fall Winter 2010

Love Languange

2010-11-15T15:06:00.000+07:00

I found this video, I think this project was made by singaporean students.
well, I like it !
just so sweet =)
Enjoy !

back on my junkies track !

2010-11-15T15:03:00.000+07:00

Hello universe !
sorry for not blogging for a while, I'm just busy & when I'm not I'm too tired to blog.
I apologize to those who often check on my blog & hoping for new posts,
I really didn't expect that there're people who interested in my blog, since I realized my blog is so boring & I'm not a fashion blogger eventhough I'm a fashion student,
this is just my personal blog, my personal life. So I'm a lil' bit surprised when some people start to email me about why I'm not posting anything for a while & waiting for my new posts or wants to know more about me personally because of my blog.
wow, I really really did not expect that, cause honestly I don't really care people wanna read mine or not, because I'm blogging not for getting a lot of readers, I'm blogging just for myself. lol
maybe I'm over-reacting now, but I don't care what others say,
I just want to thank all my readers, I appreciate that a lot ;') *hugs through cyber*
uhh, so lame, i don't even know how to talk about it. I never good in words.

So, last week is so busy & I'm just so lazy to talk about it.
just going to share random photos, oh & md is in town again ! =)

Attending Anne Avantie II decades Party & Fashion Show

Fiori Fashion Event

Esmod Fashion Show, I'm a mummy girl yeah! wearing my senior's bustier.
All sew from real bandage, give applause to my senior !

The Designer, my tiny lovely senior, Yelly =)

I was interviewed in Jakarta Fashion Week

still got more events, but I haven't got the photos yet.

Out of writing idea.

chaoo chicks ! xxx

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

All about Commercial

2010-11-06T02:37:00.003+07:00

So, I remembered I ever saw a commercial,
which is for me, one of the best commercial in the world.
It's about cancer, a very short movie not even a minute, but it makes my tears drop.
I really wanna share this & I researched it & found it again.
MUST WATCH !
sorry for the bad quality couldn't find the good one.

& another commercial, kindda funny but creative !

& beer advertisement, creative !

& two stupid condom commercial ! LOL so stupid !

LOL STUPID !

so anyone interested in advertising ?

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

random

2010-11-04T23:20:00.002+07:00

Today is not really my day.
couldn't describe 'em one by one.
not in a good condition,
but at least I know who's there & who's not.
because most of the people who have ever told me that they care about me & love me,
are actually the people who're missing.
That's why I never believe in words, words are just bullshit.
words are just words, I never know which is real &; which is not, except they're proved.
I'm a human, I'm not perfect either.
I got plenty of bad attitudes & temper too, & maybe I'm just selfish.
I just want them to be there no matter what.
I know I'm childish, but who doesn't ? it's a part of human.
at least I'm not doing anything stupid, I'm just immature, not 'stupidly childish'. know the difference ?
I'm tired of being tired,
I'm tired of trying to be a good person,
& I'm tired of trying to be a bad person.

so not in the mood.
I'm just.. sad.
I really really wanna go to singapore to accompany my mom next 2weeks.
she's going to have a big operation & my dad is not able to accompany her,
so my grandma & aunt will go there & accompany her.
I'm just scared.
I was trying so hard to hold my tears when she texted me & told me so many things.
suddenly I felt so alone, empty, just lonely.
It's not a homesick, but.. just don't know how to describe it.

I got nothing more to say.
If you ask me what's in my mind right now,
I'd definitely answer I don't know.
cause' I don't know. all blank.

-random minds of mine-

Just to kill boredom

2010-11-03T00:57:00.000+07:00

Still not much to share about, maybe I'll share things in weekends I guess,
cause this saturday is my uni's open house, so got some workshop & a small fashion show.
My two fashion design projects were chosen & being displayed. don't even know what's good from my projects --"
I'll be a mummy girl ! wearing my senior's bustier =) she got a unique one, so different from the others!
& maybe I'll have a simple photo session in weekends. humm.. don't know yet, but it's kindda private for me so maybe not gonna upload it. we'll see.
Just gonna share some fashion & silly videos again from youtube that I found on my friend's profile.

So, this is Lavin ♥ H&M :

some antm models shoot :

& silly videos again from annoying orange, here comes LADY PASTA (GAGA?) !

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

sometimes I'm sweet sometimes I'm sour

2010-11-01T17:12:00.001+07:00

Spending weekend last weekend with all my chicklets,
this is one of my best chicks, she's back to hometown already ='(
miss her already ='(

It's monday & am staying at home for the whole day since I got this annoying fever, sore throat, & crazy ulcer pain :(

Don't have much to share since there's nothing epic to share.
just felt so guilty & sad,
just lost one of my best friends ='(
I'm such a mean person.
I'm such a weirdo.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Humors & Rumors

2010-10-29T23:36:00.000+07:00

Exhausted !
Don't really have anything to share.
things are going the same, just a boring routine, with some hot news that I always hate to hear.
uhh, I'm such a boring person huh?
well I'm kindda lazy to update stuffs these days idk why, just lazy.
But days are getting fun !

So, since I'm stuck with this post, just gonna upload this stupid annoying orange,my most favourite!
I always laugh at this, so silly !

& this happy tree friends, a bit' yucks but.. idk just found it funny.lol

& well, I know this is a very old song, I'm so not up to date.
but I'm not a fan of Enrique Iglesias, so I never listen to his songs,
& I know this song from my friend.. well, complicated, but the lyrics are.. melting but kindda' pathetic.lol
& I just love it!
perfect for my sleeping song in the car when stuck in traffic jam =p

& just going to share another electro song, still old song, but i haven't bored with it, well..not yet.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

#PrayForIndonesia & #GodBlessIndonesia

2010-10-27T13:25:00.007+07:00

I think you all know what has happened in Indonesia yesterday.

Indonesia was hit by double disaster,

I know this is a natural disaster & I felt sorry for Indonesia,

but..

Please Indonesia, be smart.

People over countries have warn you for some time, but you ignore them, why?

There's two examples already, last Tsunami in Aceh & Earthquake in Padang, you still ignore their warnings.

I know you have your own believe & faith, but brain is so useful for this kind of matters.

It's just so sad, I'm not blaming anyone, but.. it's just really so sad ='(

God bless you Indonesia,

Everyone please pray for Indonesia !

These are some news about the double disaster in Indonesia :

So, this is the Volcano Eruption insident, watch till finish ! you can see the volcano & the people laughing out. wth is wrong with their head, laughing out the disaster? asshole.

My Prayer & Heart now goes to you Indonesia ='(
xxxo

I can't survive or be what I am now without them =)

2010-10-26T22:18:00.002+07:00

I love all my best girl & boy friends !
They are my ohana, ohana means Family =)
Thank God I have them ♥

How the Story Goes

2010-10-25T17:21:00.004+07:00

found this in my friend's fb.

I can't get my eyes out of the video!

Thumbs up !

uber cool, this one sure got story.

& below this is really hypnotizing, can make you high without drugs or weeds.

but I don't think everyone like this one, a bit... well.. but i like it.

October's Addiction before it comes to an end.

2010-10-25T14:37:00.004+07:00

Nothing to do I'm so hell bored.

So I'll just share my addiction for this whole month,

but well, getting bored already.

& used as Victoria Secret Commercial.

so, what do you think?

I've played Baby Baby Baby idk for how many times in my itunes this whole month.

but well, getting bored already since I got a new addiction =p

Moody

2010-10-24T21:58:00.006+07:00

Just got home,

I was sleeping over at dela's yesterday.

some hometown friends are here so we hang out a bit' =)

out of that, again so many things crossed my mind.

well, sometimes I'm tired of being me.

sometimes I'm tired of being understanding.

sometimes I'm tired of forgiving & giving chances to people.

sometimes I'm tired of listening to bullshits & believe it.

sometimes I'm tired of being nice to people I actually don't like.

sometimes I'm tired of being so naive.

sometimes I'm tired of being a thinker.

& sometimes I'm tired of being tired.

& I'm just too young to get tired since there're lots of people out there who would love to replace me,

so still, have to be me,

& always me,

I'm not good at being someone else either.

just let everything flows. uhh.

Not in a good mood.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess

xoxo

Against all odds

2010-10-21T21:55:00.006+07:00

Chilling infront of my laptop,

listen to my itunes with zillion things in my mind.

I wanna speak out but just couldn't.

I'm out of words of something. but just forget it.

I'm grateful for every little thing I have..

I know I often complains,

but I really really grateful.I really am. Thank God.

there are uncountable people out there who will to do anything just to be in my place.

It hurts so bad just to see some of 'em suffer so much.

I could cry till' insane if I see all of 'em, there're so much things I haven't know & see yet.

but tears couldn't help, right?

I won't dare to laugh or humiliate the poor, abandoned & sick people,

because I know, if I were in their positions, I wouldn't be that strong to live just to see & let people mock me everyday.

Just be grateful in everything.

you just don't know how 'much' people are dying just to be in your position.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Damn! I love this.

2010-10-20T23:47:00.004+07:00

OH MY GOD !

my friend just suggested me this,

& I totally crazy about it !

I LOVE IT !

I love the VIDEO, i love the song, I love her style !

Lullaby

2010-10-20T23:34:00.003+07:00

Good night everyone,

I got two songs to accompany you to sleep =)

currently my fave !

this is for Jazz/Blues Lovers :

I love her voice very much !

she's really multi-talented.

she's pretty, a french model, she plays guitar, & she can sing =)

& for your sleeping pills,

the lyrics are just sooooooo saaaaddddd.

lyrics :

"happy song"

some day, it will come

but i'm not there

you'll be a happy one

when i'm no more here

your friend knows the route

you meet up in rhymes

thank god

i'll make a happy song that you can play

and tell your lovely ones

who i had been

just think of all you love

and feel it is here

cause we are

look up off the ground

don't feel so bad

put off nights make-up

and see who's there

your friend, he knows the route

for all keys to find

light up.

Manipulation

2010-10-20T12:06:00.004+07:00

So It's 20.10.2010 huh?

perfect date but still the same boring days.

attached to flu again, can't breathe, uhh.

am so going to have my massage & body treatment today,

never have it for like ages ! i need one.

& gonna have sushi for dinner tonight =)

World is such a weirdo.

It contains perfect chaos, It contains peaceful nature.

Like I always say,

Life is brutal.

we are all victims, but we're all the sinners as well.

you can control things,

without you realize you are a puppet too, controlled by others.

everything is a mind manipulation.

when you get bored you want to do something insane, out of box things.

when you get too far you want to undo things, being regret.

everyone is a machine of satisfaction.

when you have straight hair you want a wavy/curly hair,

when you have wavy/curly hair, you want a straight hair.

when you have golds, you always look for diamonds,

when you get the diamonds, you look for something bigger than that.

Noone can really satisfied, cause it's just never enough.

Human wants more & more & more,

till they reach a point that they've lost everything,

& should start all over again to get what they already had.

stupid? indeed. fool? indeed.

regret comes later.

but back to my older older posts,

Why is there misery & pain ?

-> Without misery & pain, how can you know & appreciate happiness ..?

Why does lost exist ?
-> Without the lost how can you appreciate & treasure what you have now ?

Dejavu?
yeah i wrote that long time ago.
Just.. don't let go your treasure (someone or something percious) just for your sake of looking for the better one.
people always say look for a better one & you'll find the right one.
tell you what, just don't do that.
cause you might have the best one now, you might find one already,
but you let go of 'em, it means you're stupid.
but I never say not to let go everything,
cause I know sometimes you should let go things that's going to kill you slowly.

it's people's choice,
what's your choice?

*kissonthelips*
Lovess,
xoxo

Follow the Flows

2010-10-18T20:44:00.004+07:00

There are things we couldn't express,

not even share it, not even mention,

not even describe, not even keep it.

Everything has its own beauty,

Everyone has his/her own lil' secret,

Every mind has its own problem,

Every heart has its own taste.

Sometimes, we need to let things flows by themselves,

sometimes it's better not to know or to ask,

not to make it clear or blur,

just let it flows & let it be,

until we reach a certain point,

& we'll find out the answers.

Sometimes mouth doesn't speak,

but heart does feel.

Sometimes mind keeps silence,

but tears shows everything.

Sometimes acts deny,

but eyes doesn't.

Sometimes you couldn't feel anything, numb.

Sometimes you feel everything too much, till you forget yourself.

People come & go,

In the end,

we'll know who will stay in our life 'till the end,

& never leave.

So just let everything flows.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess

xoxo

Boring Boring Boring. skip it.

2010-10-17T12:46:00.004+07:00

Sunday afternoon,

lying down while focus to my laptop,

just browsing around,

boring.

not going anywhere today,

flu+sore throat+ulcer hurts+a bit of cough+dizzy suck.

consume some vitamins,

boring.

addicted by a french song,

Make The Girls Dance - Baby Baby Baby

can't stop repeating it,

boring.

nothing to share,

just typing this useless post,

trying to kill some boredom alone,

boring.

wondering why am not a homey girl,

can't stay at home for too long,

except feeling unwell or sick,

feeling like nobody's alive,

boring.

thinking of why am so sensitive,

easy to laugh easy to burst out of tears easy to hurt easy to be hurt,

i used to be a very patient nice girl,

idk why am changing to this kind of bitch.

boring.

ending this boring post.

going to take my shower & do something else.

boring.

-random minds of mine-

Heavy Eyes

2010-10-15T23:24:00.003+07:00

SUPER EXHAUSTED !!

Not enough sleep for days & just submit my projects this afternoon. so relief !!

I'm free from fashion design projects till next thursday ! yeayy!

& went to Fiori first fashion show, celebrating their 6th birthday, & saw my seniors are being finalists & having their competition & won =) proud !

But no comment for the celebration, totally sucks.

I'm not being mean or rude, but it's true, I swear.. it's.. awful, so not a classy event for a magazine. --"

Imagine it celebrating the birthday of the magazine + the owner's wedding anniversary, I was like.. okay, what the hell is this..?! --"

But overall I'm enjoying everything in my life =)

Sorry, still got no photos, since the only photo is at dela's.

anw, found me in fiori's catalogue, but I guess the magazine crew re-edited 'em,

look so fugly, thoughts?

so lazy to wake up early for Jakarta Fashion Week 2010 job interview tomorrow ='(

anw, JFW is only next month !

+ Esmod St.Chaterine's Day, open house,small fashion show, discovery & party !

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Sickness is what I never aim for

2010-10-14T21:53:00.003+07:00

I hate for being sick in the middle of damn projects.

really, I don't wanna be sick, it sucks.

it nice if there's someone look after you & just being spoiled,

but it's not when nobody cares & not there when you need 'em.

well, but not that bad, since I don't even care.

whatever happen, happens.

no one knows what will happen in the next second right?

can't be in sorrow or despair in such a long time, it's just like period,

you can moan of pain in some time, you used to it, & forget it, back to your activities.

Geez, I got a lot sketches to do but I haven't do any,

wanna start it now but I'm stucked in this painful intestine infection. darn!

anw, just got email from darius, 2 photos attachment :

Wadrobe by March Avenue

Wadrobe by darius personal.

Not actually a shoot, just for fun.

& don't think i'm that pretty, it's the magic of photography & photoshop.lol

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Hey Boredom

2010-10-12T17:52:00.000+07:00

Everything is just so boring ...

Chill

2010-10-11T19:30:00.004+07:00

So here I am, chilling at Dante Coffee,

researching my press review.

I'm so hell bored, today is so grey for me.

& I'm uber shocked to hear a news, about a psycho.

omg, I really Thank God for not falling into the trap, or Idk what'll happen to me.

This psycho is really sick.

can't even describe, just so speechless. nuts people.

But nvm, karma rolls, & I bet there's a time for this psycho's karma.

I don't even think this psycho is a human. Human can think, but this psycho couldn't.

So, let's talk other things.

anyone needs a daily outfits ?

Here are some products of March Avenue belongs to my lovely senior.

Sorry for the bad quality because they aren't the real files, they're over compressed.

For Further information, add the facebook, click --> March Avenue

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Boring people

2010-10-09T11:56:00.006+07:00

It's been a while since my last blog.

I'm so busy with projects & got several issues.

Besides, I don't even know what to blog, my business ?

well I know my blog is a boring type of blog already.

I had a shoot with Darius Manihuruk last sunday,

he's one of a talented photographer, perharps fashion photographer in Indonesia,

not only that, he has been cover in the whole Asia photography.

Well, it's only a simple shoot which I were invited by my seniors to help him with his 2session of high fashion shoot,

then ended with my super simple catalogue ready to wear shoot by my senior.

kindda' nervous situation, since I'm not even a model,

& there're bunch of professional models out there are waiting & hoping to work with him.

This is not his photo anw.lol

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Disgust of Despair

2010-10-04T22:40:00.006+07:00

Sometimes,

I can only feel my own feet in this universe.

I can see crowds, hear them talking, listen to their thoughts,

but sometimes i can hear silence more than the crowds.

It's not I'm such a lonely freak or pathetic bitch, No, of course not.

I can be included as a happy one from zillions of pathetic people in the world. I'm grateful.

I get opportunities that others couldn't get, sometimes I just got the luck.

But when night comes & when I'm lying on my bed,

my thoughts are in nowhere but those hurtful world that burst me out into tears.

& issues come, thinking some people that their blood is running in me, blame me for everything & only care about their other blood, which is not me.

& I remember this quote :

"when you feel to be the most pathetic, awful, pity, & madly sad person in the whole world, you need to see, how so many, no,how uncountable people out there dying & suffering just to be in your position. When you see them, you'll be ashamed."

-Random minds of mine-

One in a million

2010-10-02T23:16:00.004+07:00

So today I accompanied & help chai for her despair doll photoshoot, by my senior.

of course i'm not in the frame =D

sometimes I'm happy to be in the behind of the scene.lol

So, here are some behind the scene that I took from my phone,

sorry about the bad quality.lol

I got a very surprising surprise last night..

& I just don't know what to say, couldn't think,

just sad.. but true.

anw, my eyes attracted by a quotes from my senior's friend fb:

"don't let somebody else create you, because once they do, they can totally destroy you."

sometimes I'm scared to trust someone,

because most of people have 'bullshit' as their middle name.

& there's another quote that catch my attention :

"as time goes by, you'll know who's the one who gonna fight for you no matter what, in any condition & situation, or the rest who're just mumbling & shitting around."

I'm looking for that 'one', just haven't found one yet.

there are too many the 'rest'.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Sophisticated

2010-09-30T00:00:00.006+07:00

Drown into fashion design projects,

chilling at dixie again doing my fashion illustrations from collage.

Nothing to share since I'm kindda' busy lately.

& today is not really my day.

Got many bad things happened today.

anw, these are from the previous shoot for my senior's fashion design magazine competition, that were taken by my other senior that has graduated & officially got the designer title =)

she is multi-talented, designer & photographer =)

The first photo is casual wear for woman,

& second one is office wear.

he called it fashion casual & office wear for woman around 20-30 years old.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Back to ages ago

2010-09-27T12:45:00.006+07:00

Don't have classes today,

woke up at noon accompanied by heavy rain & some creepy storms somehow distract my mood.

anw, chilling at dixie yesterday, totally being nice chicks,

with innocent looks.

feeling a bit' funny.like long long time ago before we're contaminated.lol

anw,

Stopped by a photo, & I love the make up in this photoshoot.

But I don't think, will be good in asian's face.

This chick has the bone & pretty eyes, of course this make up suits her.

Thoughts?

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Lifestyle

2010-09-26T13:29:00.009+07:00

Dizzy Lizzy, massive headache.

yeah, slept at 5.30am & woke up at 1pm.

Dellany is sleeping over at my place, so we couldn't hold ourselves from chit chatting & sharing all night long =D

but now we felt so sleepy & dizzy.

Random photos from yesterday.

went to Senayan City.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Sand Animation

2010-09-25T12:17:00.002+07:00

Watch this !

My gawddddd, there're so many talented people in the world.

Envy 'em !

If you understand the story, you would definitely cry !

I drop my tears for this :( so sad.. ;'(

If don't, just enjoy the art ! =)

Endless Progress

2010-09-24T23:04:00.002+07:00

I'm super exhausted, such a long day.

Had a dinner & movie with some fashion students after a tiring uni.

Got another projects & they are just.. tons. ggahhh !

But I really enjoy this class, honestly I love the teacher ! she is so kind! I'm motivated.

She surely knows how to teach.

So, tomorrow's shoot has been cancelled due to some issues.

& got a new schedule with a sudden appointment express shoot on Sunday.

Helping one of my senior for his competition, he said it will be in catalog ? i don't know.

so not confident, since I'm not a model at all.

don't have the face, body proportions, height, & sense of model.

not even wanna be a real model, just not really my thing.

afraid to dissapoint people.

Don't have much to share but,

I just saw video posted by some art students in fb.

for ART LOVERS, MUST WATCH cause it's AWESOME !

ENJOY !

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Good Advice, Slap you in the heart.

2010-09-23T18:39:00.012+07:00

Just walked by my friend's blog, Christine Laifa, & like her blog.

simple, but you'll get something.

& I saw this post & I totally loves it !

gonna slap some of the reader's heart, well, including me,

who loves to complain & never can handle footwears. =p

so, this is it !

"You won't realize how lucky you are until you see the less fortunate people."

you'll stop whining for shoes when

you see people who are paralyzed

you'll be the nicest girl in the world when

you know how it feels being bullied"

can't deny this simple & very short post is so worth it to read.
not feeling anything? such a stone.
at least you feel something eventhough your life is just fine. appreciate it.

So, just got home & bought bunch of junk foods, snacks.
Day II as a 2nd year of fashion student, gotta' do projects. dammit'!

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Name it Poison Ivy

2010-09-22T16:28:00.009+07:00

I guess I'm in food poisoned, but rather called it Poison Ivy.
no connection, I know.
I've lost my nerves.
Feeling so passed out. no more strength.
would be lovely to be taken care, ohh..how I wish.
but here I am all alone, locked myself in this tiny messy bedroom.
not even take care of myself. whatever. I don't care.
massive headache. feeling like wanna blow up my mind.
I'm such a ham. not even a ham. prefer to be a flower but turns out to be a poison ivy.
in the first step to lose my voice, have no idea why since am not even screaming to anyone.

simply in love. yeahh, in love, with Electro-Glam.
well I always love Electro, even my surroundings are not really into it.
okay! I listen to all songs, got many favourites genre,
but currently in electro mood.
So Electro Bitches, suggest me your weapons ! im still searching for mind-blowing songs.
can't wait for sohodolls to release their album this year. wait it like forever already. darn.

anyway this is my hot song in September :
Millionaires - Party like a Millionaire. It's more to Electro Pop.

"Millionaire, Bitches"

"I do what I want, middle finger in the air

Gonna party party party like a millionaire

Imma dance like a slut, and I don't even care".

Wonder what's hot in October.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Lookbook : Where Logic Doesn't Exist

2010-09-22T16:26:00.000+07:00

welcome to hell. no need to read this.

2010-09-21T22:22:00.003+07:00

First Day of uni, kindda' tiring.

Just got home & been busy for a while.

Really gonna be in real hell soon, fashion hell, with lotsa' projects, till I'm out of control.

Another Random post,

no need to read this cause' this post just going to waste your time.

I don't know why I'm so frustrated these days, about myself.

feeling so depressed lately.

I don't even know what's going on with me.

I just.. stressed up, fucked up, messed up my mind.

Lack of self-esteem, feeling so horrible, & feeling like everything I do is just.. lost. you know ?

Nothing seems right.

I'm so going nuts. I'm out of my mind.

Mental Disorder.

But out of that, I should be grateful.

Idk, just feeling that so many people care about me =)

some concern about me, some always ask how i'm doing, some just care about me, some just make sure i'm fine, & especially my gorgeous chicks who'll be there for me anytime.

I should be grateful, there're always people around me when I'm in the lowest ground of mind.

Whenever I'm alone, there's always someone or more.

I should be grateful.

I know I'm too spoiled, I'm still a daddy's little girl who cries a lot or not as tough as others,

I've tried my best but there's always flaws in there.

& I'm just lost. I'm confused.

like now, getting lost & confused about what I'm writing here.

Fashion Projects will be full loaded soon, will be tons & rude.

I should be ready, but the fact I'm still not ready, with this mental confusion.

with this mental trouble. mental madness.

still got 2 photoshoots appointments on this Saturday & next Saturday.

after this 2 weeks I guess I'll vacuum from shoot world for projects.

can't handle too many works.

I just don't know why my mind is so fucked up.

Just.. wish me the best.

I don't want to lose myself.

-Random minds of mine -

Draggin' up

2010-09-19T19:55:00.003+07:00

I'm back to normal !

just got some self issues in the previous post.

don't mind it !

Dying of boredom I swear.

Lack of self-esteem anyway..

idk what will happen in tomorrow's shoot, in the same place.

I feel so fucking ugly. I know I'm so imperfect, but can I be near perfect please, God ?

T_____________T

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Bad Bitch

2010-09-19T14:35:00.007+07:00

Sometimes..

I just hate myself.

It's me, It's always been me.

Imma' troublemaker & Imma' killer.

Don't stay near to me.

I'm gonna hurt people.

Bangs Grow

2010-09-18T16:55:00.004+07:00

Nothing much to say.

Just had my lunch at sushitei then hang out for couple hours,

& now I'm back to my bedroom & lying infront of this laptop.

Boring.

Life is such a chore.

well, gotta get change & go out with relatives since bro & mom are in town.

Gonna have another family dinner tonight. chaoo chicks !

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Letter to confusion. skip this post, not important.

2010-09-17T18:53:00.008+07:00

No need to read this.

This is just a random post.

I'll drag you to the same boredom.

It's kindda' long, not important, & just random.

This is just another random minds of mine.

I'm so bored. bored to hell.
have no idea what to do.
Bought tons of dvd last month but left 'em in hometown.

I think I really got a mental problem.
Sometimes I feel like fighting with my own mind.
sometimes I think all day long without any results.
sometimes I feel like my mind has stop for hours when I realize I think on nothing realistic for hours.
sometimes I feel like arguing with my other me, my own mind.
sometimes I feel like a mad-damn girl.
sometimes I feel like angry, sad, & screaming but I just stand still, confused with myself.
sometimes I wonder what's wrong with myself.
sometimes I can't control myself, my feelings, & my emotion.
Is it my mental problem or I got a selfish emotion ?
consider me as a quite a normal looking mental patient?

I'm so bored.
my mind is flying away & have a walk to nowhere.
a space between reality & imagination & empty space.

Don't scare me or scared of me.
cause' I don't really remember this when everything back to normal.
I only type this in confusion, in empty space.
not sure what I'm typing.
I wanna be more realistic.
I realize world is so cruel & brutal, full of deceive & lies.
People come & go, they always rush, they always late.
they always try to forget, they always try to remember.
they always regret. they always move on. they always stuck in a place.

they always find a way. they always lost.

What comes around, goes around.

Maybe that's human race.

never enough, the more they gain, the more lonely it is but they still want more & more & more.

why don't they just appreciate & treasure what they have ?

till' they lost everything & should struggle from the beginning to get what they already have.

Stupid? Fool? Indeed.

Maybe that's human race.

No one really understands, no one really knows, no one really satisfied.

& no one stays the same.

-Random minds of mine-

Lookbook

2010-09-17T18:50:00.001+07:00

Frozen Summer

2010-09-17T01:52:00.007+07:00

It's 2am here, just gonna blog for a while before hit my bed.

Just got home around 30 minutes ago, clean up & currently sitting infront of my laptop.

feeling so exhausted, just got a simple shoot today, supposed to be in around lunch time but turned out to almost sunset, since it's raining like mad-ghost, big storm, foggy, & just creepy.

I got wet in the end & It's freezing & I was like.. shaking & mumbling.

but it was a very quick shoot & only took a few frames till' the sun passed out.

& got some polaroid photos in the spot, taken by Christine Chai, who's also the make up artist of today's simple quick shoot.

I was a short-hair lady today except in the last frame.

what do you think..?

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Behind the head

2010-09-14T21:03:00.004+07:00

Lying on my bed.
Cuddling under my blanket.
Typing this useless craps.
Thinking nothing.
Just keep typing.

Browse about some ironic stuffs in the internet.
bored.
Lazy to reply texts & chats.
Listening to some old songs.
Drowning in this boredom.

Missing some moments.
Recall some memories.
Confused of how I could live & have lived for 19 years.
Running in circles.
Full loaded mind.
Everything is just bumping around.
Still bored.

Thinking to be in somewhere else.
Imagine if everything perfect.
But perfect doesn't exist.
but perfect is boring.
But too imperfect sucks.
Still typing shits.
Should stop now.

Hoping good things to happen.

-Random minds of mine-

Buzz the Frames

2010-09-13T13:52:00.000+07:00

What a lousy day.

Just gonna share some random photos from sg, my face looks like shit.

For complete album just check it out on Christine Chai's facebook album.

I was too epic in that album, guess everyone who sees it will puke out. whatever I don't care.lol

super hate my bangs. gross !

Love my two girls : Christine Chai & Felia Purnawan :)

& wish my bangs grow longer ASAP. I hate it.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Fade Away

2010-09-12T22:22:00.000+07:00

Back to town, back to misery, back to all the fucking life & bullshits.

I hate this town, I hate to live here, & I hate for being so fucked up in here.

I just want to be in somewhere else where logic doesn't exist.

Might be better, lost the mind.

Nowhere to be found.

Hidden Track

2010-09-11T11:03:00.000+07:00

we often stuck in this condition, this feeling.

It's like a bomb, just wait for it to blow up & crash to pieces.

Never in our life we ever want to fall to a deep well that takes us forever to get up.

But the truth speaks a lil' bit contrast, that we always fall for it.

I am not directly speaking about something called Love or anything else.

what I'm talking about is a feeling that we want to avoid or try to avoid, but we just couldn't resist the temptation.

We know it maybe an underground bomb that will explode right away after we step on it & release our feet.

But why the hell on earth we still want to step on it & just want to take the risk ?

It's something you can avoid but you just couldn't, hard for you to look away while it feels so close & too good to be true ?

We realize it might be hell yet we just want to believe it's heaven.

& when it crashes, all we can do is just cry it over & over again, regret things we could do to avoid it/get it all back or even regret the feelings that we've fallen for it.

Not much to say to make us believe it was real, not less to hypnotize us to fall for it deeply for an instant moment, & not long to crash us to pieces & burst out of tears.

& it hurts more than hell swallowing your heart.

From the beginning we've known it might be hell, but aren't hell offers you the best ?

Nothing makes your head stop spinning around the hell all day & night.

Nothing stops your heart beating for the hell.

Nothing stops your eyes to blind & your brain to believe to hell.

Your thirst of attention & feeling of loved couldn't help you to refuse the hell.

That's how you fall for it in the thought it was heaven until you see how it begin to rotten & stinks.

There's no medical care, only mental care.

There's no cure, life is just brutal.

Don't understand a bit' of it?

No offense, you've to think deep rather than shallow.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Time Machine

2010-09-09T12:16:00.000+07:00

I MISS MY OLD HAIR & BANGS !

Time flies really fast & hard.

I've been looking & back to photos from 2007 till now.

so many things had happened & it all felt like just a snap.

Blow up my mind with memories & back to the current time.

What would it be in 2 years ahead? Can't wait for my graduation.

What lady would I be & where would I have my job?

& who will stay in my side till then? or who will be the first person that I see every morning in years forward ?

What kind of guy that would knee down upon me, hold my hands, propose me, & I would answer 'yes, i do' to?

Wonder who's the man that I will fall into the same arms everyday for the rest of my life & who'll love me with his whole heart & take care of me with his entire life.

what's this called again, future curiousity ?

*kissonthelips*

lovess,

xoxo

Boredom issues

2010-09-07T10:34:00.000+07:00

There's only thing every girl's can do in such a crunchy boredom.

Boring photobooth with boring results.

Nothing to share yet, photos are in camera & there's no cable data.

so, chaoo!

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo

Immortal Question

2010-09-05T13:34:00.000+07:00

Why is there misery & pain ?

-> Without misery & pain, how can you know & appreciate happiness ..?

Why is lost exist ?

-> Without the lost how can you appreciate what you have ?

Why is regret comes late ?

-> Without regret, how can you realize your mistakes & be a better person in the future ?

Why do we have to watch other's death ?

-> to remind you that nothing lasts forever so that you can appreciate everything in your life before it's too late.

*kissonthelips*

Lovess,

xoxo